Several months ago I was asked to deliver this speech to the people of Karpland.
There are a great many of us here from the states and we do miss our holidays. With that in mind I chose Memorial Day. I have to admit I was a bit uncomfortable given our recent history and present situation. I mean after all we just fought a war for Christ’s sake and killed a huge number of service people including the asshole that was in charge. My main concern was and is to keep up the spirits of the umons and continue to create a community where they can be safe and prosper.
“Memorial Day is a holiday in the United States that undoubtedly holds significant value. We here in Karpland would like to extend an olive branch to the service men and women who sacrificed their lives in the Battle Of The Emancipation Of Karpland. Until a few years ago these soldiers were the opposition in our struggle to obtain freedom from oppression and genocide. To further express our sincerity, we have renamed The House Of Horrors in our amusement park, in honor of the late Captain Wallace Crunch, (despite the fact that he tortured thousands of umons.)
R.I.P. Captain Crunch. The House Of Horrors is now appropriately renamed Crunches Chamber Of Horrors. This will stand as a true dedication to those who have endured as well as those who inflicted pain and suffering under your command.”